Vamped - David Sosnowski
Synopsis:
It’s been years since humans lived freely in a world now run and owned by vampires.
The act of hunting and killing humans is long since extinct, and blood production has become a commercial exercise, produced from stem-cells and packaged in juice boxes. In a world full of vampires, the only place one can find a real human is on black market farms that officially ‘don’t exist’, where vampires, for a large sum, can hunt humans au naturale.
So when suicidal vampire Martin Kowalski comes across a six-year-old girl- who presumably escaped from a human hunting reserve- he decides to take the recently orphaned and blood-spattered child home. While he initially plans on making her into a midnight snack, he finds himself charmed by the young girl, who goes by the bizarre name of Isuzu Trooper Cassidy- and allocates himself the role of unofficial guardian. Through the tumultuous years that follow, Marty embraces ‘fatherhood’ and strives to protect Isuzu from the rest of the world, who would tear her apart for a taste if they knew she existed.
What I gained from reading this book:
Despite the fact that most of the characters in this novel are vampires, the author is strangely able to make readers relate to them. This could be because he describes a world very similar to our own, only the characters function at nighttime rather than during the day. Marty holds a job writing memos for the Bureau of Blood Quality (BBQ), and before Isuzu came along, used to frequent bars where he’d watch topless dancers. His mundane life is what led him to almost crash his car and put an end to the boredom of living an eternal life. Isuzu’s appearance in his life brings a glimmer of hope to Marty, initially for the thrill of fresh blood and then for the challenges of parenthood. This novel shows that there is always something to live for, and to use the cliché, that sometimes the best things come in small packages.
Positives:
This novel is extremely entertaining and there are several reasons for this.
The author has managed to create humour in his portrayal of the eternally angry and emotional Screamers (vampires who may be hundreds of years old but are trapped in the young children’s bodies that they were vamped in- never able to look older than they are, and therefore never taken seriously).
As well as this, the character of Marty has a lot on his plate when it comes to dealing with Isuzu, and this helps readers to relate to his character. Marty’s role as a parent is varied, but in short, he has to protect her from other vampires, deal with her hormonal mood swings as she grows up, make sure he has enough human food (AKA pet food) for her while avoiding suspicion about the amount he buys (since he doesn’t own a pet), and generally adjust to having a female living with him who sleeps most of the night and has regular bodily functions that vampires no longer have. This is a story about co-habitation at its most extreme and most amusing.
Negatives:
The humour in this book may not appeal to everyone, but I think most people will appreciate the author’s rampant imagination.
Rating: 9 out of 10
Genre: Black Comedy
Recommended for: Anyone who has ever wondered what life would be like if everybody in the world was undead.
It’s been years since humans lived freely in a world now run and owned by vampires.
The act of hunting and killing humans is long since extinct, and blood production has become a commercial exercise, produced from stem-cells and packaged in juice boxes. In a world full of vampires, the only place one can find a real human is on black market farms that officially ‘don’t exist’, where vampires, for a large sum, can hunt humans au naturale.
So when suicidal vampire Martin Kowalski comes across a six-year-old girl- who presumably escaped from a human hunting reserve- he decides to take the recently orphaned and blood-spattered child home. While he initially plans on making her into a midnight snack, he finds himself charmed by the young girl, who goes by the bizarre name of Isuzu Trooper Cassidy- and allocates himself the role of unofficial guardian. Through the tumultuous years that follow, Marty embraces ‘fatherhood’ and strives to protect Isuzu from the rest of the world, who would tear her apart for a taste if they knew she existed.
What I gained from reading this book:
Despite the fact that most of the characters in this novel are vampires, the author is strangely able to make readers relate to them. This could be because he describes a world very similar to our own, only the characters function at nighttime rather than during the day. Marty holds a job writing memos for the Bureau of Blood Quality (BBQ), and before Isuzu came along, used to frequent bars where he’d watch topless dancers. His mundane life is what led him to almost crash his car and put an end to the boredom of living an eternal life. Isuzu’s appearance in his life brings a glimmer of hope to Marty, initially for the thrill of fresh blood and then for the challenges of parenthood. This novel shows that there is always something to live for, and to use the cliché, that sometimes the best things come in small packages.
Positives:
This novel is extremely entertaining and there are several reasons for this.
The author has managed to create humour in his portrayal of the eternally angry and emotional Screamers (vampires who may be hundreds of years old but are trapped in the young children’s bodies that they were vamped in- never able to look older than they are, and therefore never taken seriously).
As well as this, the character of Marty has a lot on his plate when it comes to dealing with Isuzu, and this helps readers to relate to his character. Marty’s role as a parent is varied, but in short, he has to protect her from other vampires, deal with her hormonal mood swings as she grows up, make sure he has enough human food (AKA pet food) for her while avoiding suspicion about the amount he buys (since he doesn’t own a pet), and generally adjust to having a female living with him who sleeps most of the night and has regular bodily functions that vampires no longer have. This is a story about co-habitation at its most extreme and most amusing.
Negatives:
The humour in this book may not appeal to everyone, but I think most people will appreciate the author’s rampant imagination.
Rating: 9 out of 10
Genre: Black Comedy
Recommended for: Anyone who has ever wondered what life would be like if everybody in the world was undead.
Australians can buy the book by clicking the picture below:
